Raising boys isn't easy. Life with them is loud. If it's quiet, they're probably up to something. Boys are messy, competitive, fearless, and proud. Living with them pretty much guarantees that you're in for an adventure.
In
Boy-sterous Living, Jean shares a few of the priceless stories and laugh-out-loud lessons that she and her boys have experienced over the years. With humorous insight and practical advice, she offers encouragement and ideas to help both mothers and fathers impact and shape the lives of their sons. From understanding their love of sports to overcoming the superman complex, Jean shows moms how to find joy and contentment in everyday life by celebrating the laughter, passion, noise, and endless energy boys bring to our lives. I loved the book, and laughed with Jean as she shared her stories and her life. I asked her a few questions, and want to share that interview with you:
--What do you think is the hardest thing about raising boys? Being a girl. It's just hard to understand so many things about boys because I am a girl. Boys are typically energetic, physical, loud, messy, and overall very rambunctious. They do things that I truly don't get, like why do they love to blow up things with fireworks? I guess, allowing boys to be boys, and spending intentional time in learning about them and what makes them tick has made raising boys not so hard as just plain fun.
--And what's the best thing abour raising them? My boys have brought so much passion, energy and adventure into my life that I wouldn't ever have had without them. I've found myself experiencing things I never would have imagined, such as mountain biking on a trail and finding a rattlesnake, or grilling caterpillars as an appetizer for dinner. (I know it's gross.) They've opened my eyes to a world that I might have missed, such as seeing the colors of tiny spiders I would rather step on. Also, the relationship between a mother and son is something really special - there's no other relationship like it. I just sent my oldest son off to college and it's been really hard to see him go, like a part of me is gone, but at the same time I'm excited for his future, to see what his next adventure in life will be.
--You talk a lot about laughter in the home. I think it's very important to create a fun atmosphere, too--so could you share with my readers a few ways they can incorporate more laughter and fun into their homes? As the mom you really can set the tone for your home. If you can choose to laugh, even in moments that make you want to scream and stomp you're feet, you'll be beginning to create a home filled with laughter. For example, when my youngest son shaved off his eyebrows, I wanted to scold him but at the same time it was quite funny. I choose to laugh and he laughed and we still laugh about that. Sometimes we will go on YouTube and watch hysterical videos, or rent a good, clean, comedy, or read Calvin and Hobbes comic books. I have a list of 10 wild and wacky ways to have fun with your sons that include things like take a night hike in your pajamas and look for bats, buy chocolate covered bugs and daring everyone to eat one, (you can buy these at some candy stores.) I would encourage every family to come up with their own list and then do those things together. Keep your eyes and mind open to the daily moments that can become really funny. Modeling to your children how to have a light-hearted attitude in life will be good for them as they grow up. Just choose to laugh.
--How do you advise moms who are fearful about their boys' recklessness and love of dangerous things? This question resonates with me because I'm a worrier. I've been told worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair and rocking back and forth but going nowhere. So, I've had to deal with this and my worry is usually fear based. Some things I've done are: remind the boys that safety come first; talk about the difference between fearless and foolish behavior, (fearless is bold, brave and courageous whereas foolish is lacking sense or unwise); encourage them to be smart about the choices they make and think about the consequences of their actions – BTW Boys are not good at thinking that way. At the same time I've tried not to squelch their need for adventure. I've had times where I have had to mentally and emotionally let go. I will actually close my eyes and open my hands and entrust their safety to God because I can't control everything. It's freeing to let go but it's still hard. To sum up a hard topic up, I would say trust your boys, trust what you’ve taught them and most of all trust God.
--Finally, any advice for moms who want to raise boys with good manners? (I have this problem--I feel I'm fighting a losing battle at the dinner table and elsewhere!) It’s not uncommon to hear all sorts of bodily noises at our dinner table, and to hear me saying, “Guys, there’s a girl in the room.” But they don’t often think of me as a girl, I’m their mom. Anyway, be consistent in re-enforcing, and modeling, polite behavior it will rub off on them. Even though you might not always see it at home you will hear from others, eventually, how polite your boys are – so don’t give up. And don’t forget to maintain that sense of humor. Teaching children manners is an important aspect of life, but more importantly teaching children to behave in a way that is most respectful to those they encounter is what really matters and is what we hope to instill in our boys.
Find out more about Jean here! And here's the link to purchase the book and the rest of the blog tour schedule.
And guess what? There's also a CONTEST: Enter your grossest or funniest moment as a mom of a boy (No boys? That’s okay – we still want to hear your story!) and you could win movie tickets and a snack for you and a friend to escape! Share your story by emailing your entry to amy@litfusegroup.comor posting it on the Moms of Boys facebook page!
