Judging Fellow Moms

I just read a great short story here. It made me laugh and nod my head, and it made me glad that some women are being more honest these days, instead of trying to live up to a false standard of what being a "good Christian mom" is.

I also like this post. I related--because I've been a work-outside-the-home mom and a work-from-home mom, but never a full-time stay-at-home mom. (A widow neighbor of mine, when we first moved to our current addy, said that for a SAHM, I sure wasn't home much. That was before she really knew me well, and before I wrangled her into babysitting for me while I write! LOL)

In my book Grace for the Race, I wrote this in an entry on post-partum depression and the things God taught me from that excruciating experience:

". . . God gives us each different temperaments and personalities, and we all have to make the best choices we can. In fact, one of my passions is to help women see that we're in this race together.

Let's not judge one another for the decisions we make about working or staying at home, nursing or bottle-feeding, cleaning or hiring help, and homeschooling vs. public schooling.

Instead, I pray that we moms will give ourselves, and each other, grace—grace that Anne Lamott describes as 'the force that infuses our lives and keeps letting us off the hook . . . It's the help you receive when you have no bright ideas left, when you are empty and desperate and have discovered that your best thinking and most charming charm have failed you.'

           And, I might add, it's the grace that helps you forget childbirth and the early weeks so that—against all common sense—you decide to give your child a sibling."

I still feel that way--only more so. Why do we Christian moms seem to judge one another more harshly than non-Christian moms? Shouldn't it be the opposite?!

Why do we--and I'm including myself her--talk about other moms behind their back? Maybe it's because we feel so strongly about our personal choices--that we've been led of the Lord to do certain things for our families. 

But the next time you--or I--start to judge another mommy, let's stop and remember that just as each of our children has a different personality, every mom has her own temperament, talents, and time constraints.

Instead of criticizing moms in our churches or neighborhoods, let's pray for them. When we're tempted to gossip, let's curb our tongue and invite them to MOPS or to our church's weekday Bible study.

Even better, let's ask the Lord--or the mom we're concerned about--how we can come alongside and help. Who knows? We might learn a thing or two...and one thing's for sure...whether or not we become friends, if we believe the word of God, we WILL receive a blessing when we serve a fellow mom in the trenches.