Mother Inferior

Welcome to my Internet home-away-from-home. My name is Dena Dyer and I'm a mommy, wife, writer, speaker and performer from Texas. I'm so glad you stopped by!

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I love my kids more than life itself, but I wonder if I'll ever have a life myself?" I have. In the crazy/busy world we live in, we moms can get swept up in the insane (why aren't I thinner? how do my kids compare to theirs? ) and the mundane (what kind of eco-friendly detergent won't make my sensitive child break out?) pretty quickly.

Most days, I feel like I just don't measure up--so I'm glad I have a God who more than makes up for my forgetfulness, foibles and foolishness!

If you're a ragamuffin mom like me, I hope you'll find encouragement, hope and lots of laughter ('cuz humor heals!) in the posts and links on this page.

If you're an editor looking to work with me, please see my profile, credits and available projects here. If you're a women's ministry director or meeting planner, hop on over to my "Grace Notes Ministries" speaking page to find my topics and endorsements. And if you're an aspiring writer, take a look at the frequently-updated page I've created just for you.

Whatever brings you to "Mother Inferior," I hope you'll kick your shoes off, stay awhile--and come back often. You're welcome here--and you never know just what you'll find!

A REALLY bad day!

Yesterday, I had a horrible day. Nothing specific was the matter, but I was hormonal, tired, and cranky. The petty little annoyances that I can usually gloss over weren't "glossable."

In the morning, Carey and I had a very small disagreement (over whether or not to buy a couch slipcover, if you can believe it), and that started the waterworks. I cried on and off all day, and that made me even more tired.

Having both boys at home all the time has been a real adjustment. And if I'm honest, the summers have always been hard for me. During the school year, I have lots of "spokes" in the wheel that keep me sane and help me ward of depression. And during the summer months, all sense of routine gets thrown out the window. We try to create a schedule, but it's usually nebulous at best.

Also, here in Texas, I tend to stay inside more because it's so hot. That, combined with other factors, start things spiraling downward. You'd think I'd remember: exercise, eat right, spend time with God, see my friends, journal, get sunshine, etc...but I let some of that go because I'm just trying to to keep the kids from killing each other!

At one point yesterday, I tried to be alone, and when I went on the back porch, our new puppy started licking my toes and whining. It seemed everyone needed me, and I didn't want to be needed for one more second! And Carey doesn't "get it" when I just need "Dena" time. He gets recharged by people. I get recharged by solitude. We're very different in that way.

And get this: we're trying to cut waaaay back on video games, television and computer for the boys, so their minds don't turn to mush over the summer. Good theory, right? Well, when they're not screen-engaged, they are either wrestling or fighting (sometimes both). Rarely do they play for more than a few minutes without someone calling a name, hitting, or crying.

To make matters worse, Carey left for a dentist appointment, and when I tried to get the spawnlings to help with chores, they didn't mind me--even after repeated, and ultimately heated, requests.

So I lost it. I yelled, and yelled, and yelled some more! :) Jordan told me I was being mean...Then I went to the bathroom and just sobbed.

Thankfully, getting it out helped. And the boys were stunned. (I know that a certain brand of parenting advice tells you to "never let 'em see you sweat." But I can't always do that.) Then they apologized for the way they'd been acting and made me a card that said, "We love you so much and are sorry that you're having a bad day!"

That helped, too. We all hugged and kissed and made up, and their dad came home and took over so I could have a nap. Then we went to Cracker Barrell and ate comfort food. Ahhh....

And Carey and I decided that the next time we tell them to do something once, and they don't follow through, they will fork over allowance. For each time they make us repeat it.

I'll let you know how THAT goes. :)

At least the boys aren't total barbarians...they were (and always are) really empathetic and sweet when I'm upset. Hopefully, that will stay with them and they'll be awesome husbands and fathers some day!

Great Advice from an Award-Winning Fiction Author

I'm happy to host Suzanne Woods Fisher’s blog tour for her just-released historical novel Copper Fire, is the sequel to the three-time award-winning Copper Star, a World War II love story inspired by true events. Fisher was a contributing editor to Christian Parenting Today magazine. Her work has appeared in Today’s Christian Woman, Worldwide Challenge, ParentLife, and Marriage Partnership. She has contributed to ten non-fiction books, including Chicken Soup for the Soul: Children with Special Needs. A wife and mother, Fisher lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and raises puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind. The best thing about being a writer, she feels, is that all of life becomes material for writing. It’s all grit for the oyster.

During the month of June, Suzanne is running a book-a-day-giveaway contest. To enter, scoot on over to her blog (www.suzannewoodsfisher.blogspot.com) to leave a comment or pop her an e-mail: suzanne@suzannewoodsfisher.com

Copper Star (ISBN: 0-9793327-4-5) and Copper Fire (ISBN: 978-0-981-5592-0-9) are available at Amazon or other on-line booksellers, at Suzanne’s website, or can be ordered through your favorite bookstore.

Welcome, Suzanne!

Tell us about Copper Fire.

SWF: Copper Fire is the sequel to Copper Star, picking right up at the very end of World War II. On a summer day in 1945, my main character, Louisa, receives a telegram from the International Red Cross Tracing Service. She discovers that her cousin, Elisabeth, has just been released from a concentration camp, Louisa is determined to go get Elisabeth…and that’s where the story begins.   

Who is your favorite character in the book? And why?

SWF: I really like my main character in Copper Star, Louisa, the young resistance worker smuggled out of a Nazi stronghold by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. She’s funny, determined, smart… and flawed. And she knows it! She has an ability not to take herself too seriously.

Please tell us all about what you are working on these days.

SWF: In late August, Grit from the Oyster: 250 Pearls of Wisdom for Aspiring Writers, will be released from Vintage Spirit. I wrote Grit with three other very talented authors.

And another piece of great news! I just received a contract from Revell/Baker for a non-fiction book called Amish Peace in an English Life. It won’t be out until 2010…but it is taking up 90% of my brain right now.

Wow! That's great! Congratulations! Now, I'm sure all the writing moms out there want to know--how do you balance your personal and writing time?

SWF: I am constantly trying to find a balance. I don’t think I’ve ever had a typical day! Not with four kids and a corporate-guy husband, a steady stream of puppies we raise for Guide Dogs for the Blind, added into that mix is my parents. They just moved in across the street (yep! You read that right.  As in wave-hello-as-you-pick-up-your-newspaper-off-the-driveway kind of proximity!  Seriously! Check out my blog) because my father is suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease. But…let’s imagine what a typical day would be like.  My goal is to try and get three to four hours of concentrated work in, nearly every day. I can’t get much more than that in, yet I think that’s reasonable. I don’t want a spine that ends up resembling a question mark.

What inspires you to keep going?

SWF: This is an industry in which “no one is looking for you.” Behind every published piece, a writer has a fat file of rejection letters. But, ah, there’s just something about that published piece that makes up for that rejection file!

What do you love about being an author? Is there anything you dislike?

SWF: Most favorite part? All of life is material. It’s all grit for the oyster. Least favorite? I still only make a dime an hour. And I still get plenty of rude rejection letters!

Any parting any advice for beginning writers?

SWF: A while ago, I went to my first writers’ conference expecting to connect with editors, plug a few queries, well, you know the drill. I left the conference with something even better: Three new writer friends all at the same “career place.” We have kept in touch (a cinch for e-mail junkies), edit each others’ work, and are even writing a devotional together to encourage new writers called Grit for the Oyster. I went to the conference with one intention; God had another one in mind. So my parting words are: Stay open. Stay optimistic. And remember that if God calls you to write, He’s not calling you to be the best, just to give your best.   

Suzanne can be found at www.suzannewoodsfisher.com.

Thanks, Suzanne! :)

Need a new website or blog design?

Through my friend Mary DeMuth's excellent blog for writers, I found a couple who is doing a bang-up job in their new web/blog/graphic design business. I love their stuff, and I like supporting godly Christian companies (especially those run by young families). After I saw their promotion, I decided to hire them to design a new site for me. Whoo-hoo! :)

Right now they're offering a spectacular deal which wanted to share with you. You can get a complete, custom web site (not a template) for $500...and even less if you refer other people to them. That's amazing!

Here's the scoop:

What do you get?
Basic custom Web site (up to 7 pages)
Fully programmed and coded with CSS/HTML/XHTML/CSS
Matching Blog design
1 year of unlimited web maintenence
Does not include Web hosting/domain

What's the deal?
You pay $500, BUT if you refer someone who purchases the same deal you get $100 off. For every additional person, you get $25 off.

Details:
They ask for half down as a deposit. If you do not have the complete $500 before the end of June, you can pay your deposit of $250 and hold off on creation of the site until you are able to pay the rest. This will ensure your promotion discount even after the promotion expires. They ask for the balance when they complete your Web site.

Also, make sure you have a web hosting service/domain available. They can purchase one for you at an additional cost.

When you refer someone, they must pay their deposit before your discount is applied. If you refer several people, they'll add a discount until you're down to $250, your deposit. From there, you cannot receive anymore discounts. Discounts are only applied until the promotion ends.

So, potentially you could be paying $250 for a brand new professional Web site. Remember, you will not receive a template. You are getting a custom design made just for you. That's a great deal if you want a beautiful site without the high cost.

Interested? Then email Ashley.

So that's it. If you decide to use Tekeme Studios, be sure and tell them Dena sent you! :)